A Psychic and a Pharmaceutical Salesman Walk into a Bar
by redwolffclaw
Summary: Dozens of drabbles...100 to be exact. My response to windscryer's challenge and personal writer's unblocker exercises. Warnings will be posted per chapter. Most Recent Prompt: Law enforcement culture clashes while on VACATION in Hawaii!
1. 73: I Cant

**AUTHOR'S NOTES: I keep forgetting to post this here. It is my 100 themes challenge. I tend to do these when I get a bit of writers block and find it works well to work out the kinks in my brain. **

**These will be in no specific order due to the fact that I am rolling a 100 sided dice to figure out which I want to do. Makes it more challenging and fun that way, to me at least. :D**

**I did post two at once with this one since the first one is so short. **

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**73. I Can't**

Shawn stood on the steps of Juliet's house holding a bouquet of daisies and looking at a closed door. He tried visualizing Juliet in front of him as he practiced the speech he had planned to give to her. All these romantic movie quotes fluttered around in his mind, making it hard to concentrate on what he really wanted to say.

_"Love means never having to say you are sorry."_

_ "You had me at hello."_

_ "Here's looking at you kid."_

Shaking away the random thoughts that were an all too common occurrence in his head, he decided to go for it and rang the doorbell. When Juliet answered and her eyes lit up at the sight of the flowers, Shawn's plan went straight out the window. He moved forward and took her breath away with a deep, passionate kiss.

After a minute they both broke away breathless. "Wow. What was that for Shawn?" Juliet leaned in and put her forehead against her boyfriend's.

"I… I came here to say a lot of things Jules… you know me and talking. Well, when I got here, and when I saw you, I realized that I can't say in enough words how much I love you. So I decided to show you instead." He smiled and their lips barely touched. "But even saying nothing was a mouth full."

Juliet snorted in laugher as they stood embracing each other on her porch.


	2. 85: Spiral

**AUTHOR'S NOTES: Here is the second one. A lot longer and it helped me get into gear for writing my Born This Way Sequel and could be considered kind of part of that series.**

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**85. Spiral-**

Shawn drummed his fingers on his desk, trying not to listen to his 9th grade teacher talk about genetics. He had enough trouble trying not to think of his own genetics on a daily basis without Ben Stein up there yammering away."Blah blah blah, chromosomes. Blah blah blah, 46 pairs." Glancing over at his best friend Gus, he saw the other teen was held in rapt attention, jotting down everything the teacher said in neat little notes. The only writing on his own paper was a crude drawing of a spiraling strand of DNA. Shawn added a bit more to the drawing, putting in more detail and shading.

"Does anyone know how many pairs of chromosomes come from each parent?" Gus' hand shot up faster than anyone else in the class… if anyone else had bothered to raise their hand that is. The instructor nodded for Gus to give his answer.

"Each parent contributes 23 genetic pairs." Gus beamed.

Nodding the instructor turned to the blackboard. "Very good Burton. Yes, each parent contributes half of the 46 pairs."

Now half listening, Shawn continued to work on his drawing, occasionally grabbing a colored pen from his backpack. He saw the teacher glance at him once and a while, showing a bit of annoyance that he was drawing in class but not stopping the lecture to say anything. Gus also noticed and smacked him on the arm when the teacher wasn't looking.

"Ow man! What the heck?" Shawn hissed at Gus who had just smacked him in the arm.

Gus glared at Shawn. "I am not letting you copy my notes this time Shawn. You need to get your head out of your ass and pay attention once and a while. He said at the beginning of class he was going to give us an assignment on this."

Lowering his voice so the teacher wouldn't hear him, he whispered, "Gus, don't be a cover band of Spinal Tap. I'll be fine."

Tsk-ing, Gus figured it was useless and proceeded to ignore Shawn and his doodling for the rest of the class. "_If he wants to fail then so be it."_ He thought.

Near the end of the first hour, the instructor, true to his word, wrote an assignment on the board for them to complete for the second hour. Most of the class groaned but when Gus saw it his jaw dropped. He looked over at Shawn who was just putting the finishing touches on what looked like a professional drawing of a DNA strand, complete with shading, color coding and labels. Exactly what the assignment for the next day was, however it was supposed to be done in teams.

Ignoring Gus' stare and almost before the instructor put the chalk down Shawn brought up the drawing and plopped it on his desk. "Me and Gus are done already. Can we leave early?" The teacher looked at Shawn in shock and the teen took the silence as a yes, grabbing Gus from his desk and pulling him out the door.

"Dude, lets head down to the cafeteria for an early lunch. They are having tater tots today!" Shawn was either ignoring Gus' incredulous looks or completely oblivious to them while thinking of food so Gus decided to be proactive.

"Shawn! How did you know he would give that assignment?"

Shrugging he explained. "As we were walking into class I saw him shuffle some papers and he had a note on one of them about it."

"You are scary sometimes you know that right?" Gus raised an eyebrow at his friend.

"Scary good you mean." Shawn replied with a goofy grin.

Remembering the food Gus asked, "You said there would be tater tots for lunch?" Shawn nodded, "I'll eat me some tots."

"That's the spirit!" Shawn clapped his friend on the back and headed for the lunch room.

"Uh, you know we are an hour early for this right Shawn?" Gus realized and felt the need to remind Shawn too.

Giving Gus a charming smile Shawn replied, "I have my ways, plus the lunch ladies love me. I am sure I can sweet talk them into giving us something early."

"That's just all kinds of wrong…" Gus trailed off as he tried not to think of the 68 year old lunch lady being sweet talked by his best friend.


	3. 21: Vacation

**AUTHOR'S NOTES:**

**I needed a break from working non-stop on my other two stories to clear my head and decided to do something fun and light. I hope you guys like it.**

**This is set after season 7 finale and mentions a character spoiler from that but otherwise you don't need to have seen season 7 to get this.**

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**21. VACATION:**

"I can't believe it Jules." Shawn smiled eagerly and leaned over Juliet to look out the window of the plane.

"Neither can I Shawn." Juliet smiled back at him, though her patience with her hyperactive boyfriend was wearing thin after almost six hours.

They were finally taking the vacation they'd always wanted to, and it couldn't have come at a better time. Juliet had taken a few weeks off of work because two months with the new interim chief Trout, was enough to drive anyone crazy. She was just ready to sit back in the sun with some very fruity and girly drinks on a beach in Honolulu, Hawaii.

Shawn on the other hand was excited because not only did he get Juliet all to himself for a week, he had also signed them up for a pineapple picking tour of the island. He promised Gus he'd bring back at least twenty.

"Hey, don't touch my bag!" One of the passengers near the front of the section was yelling at one of the stewardess who needed to move his bag out of the way to get a cart through.

"Sorry sir…" Once she was out of eyesight of the passenger, the stewardess rolled her eyes. Shawn didn't blame her. The guy had been super protective of his carryon bag since Shawn had noticed him in customs. He narrowed his eyes and could see the man was nervous. At first he'd just chalked it up to airplane jitters but now that he was paying attention, he realized the nervousness had to do with that bag…

"What's wrong?" Juliet noticed his attention was caught on something.

Turning back to Juliet, Shawn shook his head. "Nothing. Just noticing something."

Juliet gave him a hard look. "We both agreed Shawn, no police stuff on this trip. We are just going to be a normal couple, on a normal vacation."

"Right, right. Sorry Jules." Shawn apologized but kept watching the man out of the corner of his eye.

Ten minutes later, Shawn seized an opportunity to sate his curiosity. "Hey Jules, I'm going to hit the bathroom before we land okay?" She nodded at him and continued to look out the window at the view.

Shawn walked down the aisle and right next to the man, he tripped. "Woah!" He exclaimed and landed right on the guy's lap.

"What the hell! Get off!"

"Sorry!" Shawn made sure to trip right as his hand was on the bag's zipper and it opened just far enough for him to see two bags of white powder. _How the hell did he get that past customs!? _Standing he made sure to close the zipper back up. "Sorry man, was just on my way to the bathroom ya know." Shawn hurried to the bathroom and shut the door quickly.

He needed a plan. Now that he knew thousands of dollars' worth of cocaine was on the plane, he couldn't just sit around and do nothing. The problem was that he couldn't use his cell phone which meant he'd have to use a plane phone. He couldn't use the one in his seat, next to Jules. He had _just _promised her he wouldn't do any police work. He'd have to make the call to the police on the down low.

Slipping into one of the first class seats near the front of the plane and on the other side of the curtain from coach, Shawn picked up the phone and started dialing. He made it a point to memorize the emergency numbers for Hawaii before they left, _just_ in case something happened. He was really glad he did.

"Honolulu Police. Could I get your name and your emergency please?"

"Yeah, my name is…" Shawn froze, he didn't want to give out his real name just in case they came looking for him. Without thinking he blurted the first name that came to his mind, "Chubby Pumpaloaf." He grimaced. He was so much better at making up names for Gus than he was for himself.

"Okay Mr. Pumpaloaf, what is your emergency?"

"I'm on a plane. Flight 365 from Los Angeles to Honolulu International Airport. There is a man on here with a huge bag of cocaine." Shawn started to panic. This was taking too long.

"Can you give us a description of the man?"

"Better, I can give you his name and his seat number." Shawn put a finger to his head and remembered the name on the carry-on tag connected to the man's bag. "Gary Bass. Seat 16A near the front of coach, middle row." He could hear the secretary typing and glanced over his shoulder, noticing a stewardess talking to her co-worker and pointing in his direction. He'd been spotted!

"Okay sir I need you to stay on the line with me…"

"I can't I have to go. Please send someone when the plane lands." Shawn said quickly and got up from the seat before the stewardess who was eyeing him could come over.

Shawn peeked out the curtain into coach and saw that Juliet had already started to look around for him, wondering what was taking so long. He composed himself and walked past the drug mule and back to his seat.

"I was just about to go look for you. What took you so long?" Juliet questioned.

Shawn shrugged, "Oh the usual. Too much airport food." He patted his stomach and Juliet scrunched her nose, sorry she'd asked.

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Thirty minutes later the plane landed normally and started to wheel up to the boarding gate. _Where are the cops?_ Shawn leaned over Juliet to look out the window and he didn't see anything.

"Is there something wrong Shawn?" Juliet had never seen him antsy about a landing before.

Shawn took some deep breaths. "I'm fine Jules… just really excited." _I might just have to tackle this guy myself._ He was really hoping not to but he couldn't let the guy get away.

An announcement went over the PA system of the air plane. "This is the captain speaking. Please remain in your seats we have a slight delay in un-boarding."

Groans sounded from around the plane but no one moved.

"What do you think is going on?" Juliet whispered to him.

"I dunno, we'll just have to see." _Please be the cops, please be the cops, PLEASE be the cops._

Three heartbeats later three armed men and a woman appeared through the curtains followed by a couple uniformed officers. They instantly leveled their weapons on the man with the drugs. "Hawaii Five-O, put your hands on your head!" The tall brown haired one shouted.

The man complied immediately and the woman took the case off of his lap, opening it and confirming the drugs were in the bag. "I got um!"

While the tall detective kept his gun trained on the suspect, a shorter blond detective in a dress shirt and tie, got his cuffs out. The taller man nodded in his direction. "Book 'em Danno."

"I swear to God if you do that again I'm going to put these on_ you._" The shorter man gestured at him with the cuffs before putting them on the suspect and lifting him out of the seat. "Kona, Kim, take him." He pushed the man towards the other two detectives.

"Oh my God Shawn! Can you believe that?" Juliet exclaimed.

Shawn shook his head. "No I can't Jules… I mean, how does he get his hair to stay like that in this humidity?" He gestured to the shorter blond detective with perfectly styled hair.

Juliet hit him in the chest and they watched as the detectives continued to argue.

"Do you want to address everybody?" the blond said.

The taller one looked at the note in his partner's hand and shook his head, "Nah, you're so much better at that than I am. You're a people person."

The shorter man looked flattered. "Well, I'm glad that you are comfortable admitting that you are lacking in the people skills. It was very big of you." He said sarcastically. The taller man gestured to the crowd and the shorter man finally got to it. "Ladies and Gentlemen!" He clapped his hands once for effect. "I'm detective Danny Williams, and this is detective Steve McGarret. We wanted to thank you for your time and if possible could a…" He read the paper, "Chubby Pumpaloaf step forward please."

Snickers sounded throughout the plane. Shawn was among them.

Juliet turned to him, "Where have I heard that name before?"

Shawn's eyes widened and he shrugged still watching the detectives and trying not to look suspicious.

Detective Williams turned bright red and turned to his partner with a sour expression. "You just let me walk right into that didn't you."

"No no, I thought you did a great job." McGarret was suppressing his own laughter.

"You couldn't have clued me in at all that it was a fake name? And an inappropriate one at that." He gestured to the crowd. "Why am I asking a plane full of people about a fake name. If the tipster wanted to be acknowledged for calling in a crime, they wouldn't have given a _fake name._"

Composing himself but still keeping the amused twinkle in his eye McGarret addressed his partner. "We needed to give Mr. Pumpaloaf a chance to step forward. It's procedure."

"Since when is it procedure to embarrass me in front of an entire plane of people? You should be ashamed of yourself." McGarret opened his mouth to speak again but Williams shook his head and slapped the paper to his partner's chest before walking out through the curtains.

McGarret smiled at the cabin and said, "Have a nice day." Before leaving himself.

After watching them go, Shawn turned his gaze to Juliet and got an eye full of angry girlfriend. "What?"

"Chubby Pumpaloaf? Really Shawn, you didn't think I would remember that?" Shawn had said it as an off handed comment during a briefing a few months ago. The only reason she remembered it was because it caused half the cops at the briefing to break out into snickers.

Shawn cringed away from her, "What was I supposed to do? Just let him get out and distribute drugs to all the kids on the island. Think of the _kids_ Jules!"

Juliet snorted. Shawn always knew just how to weasel his way out of her being mad at him. "Next time, just let me know if our plane is going to be sieged by cops okay?"

Shawn nodded and stared forward, waiting for the pilot's okay to begin leaving. He suddenly snorted in amusement, thinking about the two detectives. Juliet turned to him, "What is it now?"

"Oh, just the two detectives. We thought WE had it bad. Those two act like they're married." Juliet laughed and punched Shawn on the arm before snuggling up next to him. Shawn straightened a bit. "Do you think they would have given me reward money for this? It could be some extra cash for the vacation."

Juliet cocked an eyebrow, "Is any amount of money worth dealing with those two again _and _admitting to using that name?"

Shawn settled back into the seat and put an arm around Juliet. "No, no it's not."

"I thought not." She smiled as they waited for their vacation to officially begin. It was already off to an interesting start and they hadn't even left the plane.

"So, how many pineapples do you think they'll consider carry on when we leave?" Shawn looked around, gaging the space needed.

"Shawn…"

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**END NOTES: As soon as I rolled randomly and got this prompt I immediately thought of Shawn going to Hawaii and meeting the Hawaii Five-O guys. It took a bit to get their banter down but I hope I did okay for you Psychos who like the show.**

**FYI: The name Shawn gave was one he told Gus would be a good stripper name in "Deez Nups"**


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